Trigger warning - abuse/attack
My early life was idyllic, loving parents who hardly ever rowed, not much money but more than enough love and time to go around.
Up until I was 19 I had never had a boyfriend, let alone slept with anyone (boys were mates and I didn't see them as anything other than that). I was a late developer in that sense.
Anyway, when I was 19 a friend and I went on a camping holiday together and as you do, we went to the clubhouse for a few drinks. The second night, we met a couple of boys (my friend was much more advanced than I was) and we ended up taking them back to our tent.
Remember at this point I was very inexperienced and really didn't know what that might mean. One thing led to another and things moved on. Without going into detail I said no and the lad I was with didn't listen. These days it would be called date rape. Afterwards I was so embarrassed I couldn't tell anyone what had happened. I asked my friend if we could just go home as I didn't feel well. She knew there was something more to it but never pushed it. In one night I had gone from being an innocent virgin to being the victim of a sex attack. The problem was that in the 80s date rape just wasn't a thing and I felt that if I told anyone they would say I had asked for it as I had invited him back to my tent.
Anyway I went on with my life but I avoided all types of intimacy. A few years later I met a man who became my fiance but he wasn't a very nice person. He soon became very controlling and violent towards me. Our wedding was booked and he cancelled everything because I had gone £5 overdrawn at the bank! That was the kind of man he was! He raped me on numerous occasions but by that time I had just come to accept that was what sex and life was like. Thankfully I came to my senses before I actually married him and we split up in 1991. I found out a few years later that he had actually been sent to jail for punching a baby.
I went on to get married and was happy for a long time. Gradually though he too became abusive (mentally not physically) and I've been happily single now for 4 years.
Things are changing in my life and all for the good. I am getting back the person I used to be and my kids and I are moving on with our lives.
Throughout all of this crafting has kept me going. I find I can lose myself for hours when I sit with wire and some beads!
Not to mention the fact that my mind monkeys help other people to take back control as well.
There is a life after abuse!
My early life was idyllic, loving parents who hardly ever rowed, not much money but more than enough love and time to go around.
Up until I was 19 I had never had a boyfriend, let alone slept with anyone (boys were mates and I didn't see them as anything other than that). I was a late developer in that sense.
Anyway, when I was 19 a friend and I went on a camping holiday together and as you do, we went to the clubhouse for a few drinks. The second night, we met a couple of boys (my friend was much more advanced than I was) and we ended up taking them back to our tent.
Remember at this point I was very inexperienced and really didn't know what that might mean. One thing led to another and things moved on. Without going into detail I said no and the lad I was with didn't listen. These days it would be called date rape. Afterwards I was so embarrassed I couldn't tell anyone what had happened. I asked my friend if we could just go home as I didn't feel well. She knew there was something more to it but never pushed it. In one night I had gone from being an innocent virgin to being the victim of a sex attack. The problem was that in the 80s date rape just wasn't a thing and I felt that if I told anyone they would say I had asked for it as I had invited him back to my tent.
Anyway I went on with my life but I avoided all types of intimacy. A few years later I met a man who became my fiance but he wasn't a very nice person. He soon became very controlling and violent towards me. Our wedding was booked and he cancelled everything because I had gone £5 overdrawn at the bank! That was the kind of man he was! He raped me on numerous occasions but by that time I had just come to accept that was what sex and life was like. Thankfully I came to my senses before I actually married him and we split up in 1991. I found out a few years later that he had actually been sent to jail for punching a baby.
I went on to get married and was happy for a long time. Gradually though he too became abusive (mentally not physically) and I've been happily single now for 4 years.
Things are changing in my life and all for the good. I am getting back the person I used to be and my kids and I are moving on with our lives.
Throughout all of this crafting has kept me going. I find I can lose myself for hours when I sit with wire and some beads!
Not to mention the fact that my mind monkeys help other people to take back control as well.
There is a life after abuse!
